From A Midwife To A Mother

Tips and tricks to help you deal with the unexpected

Sometimes life has a way of throwing a curve ball when you least expect it. Very often
events, situations or circumstances happen quickly, leaving you little time to put plans into place.

A midwife is at the forefront of pregnancy and birth and can provide valuable insight, assurance and clarity for moms-to-be and new moms. In this article, we provide expert answers from midwives for some unexpected situations you may encounter on your pregnancy and parenting journey.

A first step to coping with these unexpected situations, is to accept that they inevitably will happen and are a normal part of life. If an unexpected situation does arise, give yourself time to reflect on the situation so you can respond and react to it effectively.

Q: I’ve just found out I’m pregnant and it’s totally unplanned. How can I get through this?

A: Finding out you are pregnant, if it was unplanned or unexpected, can bring a range of strong and even negative emotions to the surface. It can be difficult to cope alone, so confide in someone you trust, perhaps a close friend, family member or colleague. Sharing the news can bring support and comfort and even clarity in the situation. If you aren’t ready to tell the baby’s father, give yourself time before you approach him. If you are worried about any aspect of your health and how this may affect you or your baby, for example, you are still smoking or taking medication that you are not sure is safe, speak to your healthcare provider or dedicated midwife on the Maternity Programme as soon as possible.

Q: I’m pregnant and recently single. How can I feel less isolated?

A: If your partner is out of the picture, there is no need for you to isolate yourself and go through this pregnancy alone. Invite family and friends to be part of your experience and to celebrate the life of your child. Ask those close to you to accompany you to your antenatal appointments and ultrasound scans. Your dedicated Maternity Programme midwife can help you prepare for your baby’s birth and provide experience and insight into what you can expect.

Q: I’m pregnant and I’ve tested positive for COVID-19. What should I do?

A: Isolate yourself immediately to protect other members of your household. Let your gynaecologist or midwife know that you’ve received a positive result. Stay calm. We are learning more about the disease all the time and what we do know is that most people who do contract the virus will have mild to moderate symptoms and this includes healthy pregnant women. However, pregnant women with a weakened immune system (from another condition), or other pre-existing medical conditions like diabetes, hypertension (high blood pressure) and obesity, may be at higher risk for developing more severe disease with COVID-19. There is little evidence to show an increased risk of miscarriage or that the virus can be passed to the baby.
For mild or moderate symptoms, you can recover at home. Continue to eat healthy, balanced meals, so your baby receives the nutrition he or she needs and to support your immune system. Keep hydrated by drinking plenty of fluids. Get rest so your body can heal. If you experience symptoms that concern you, including an inability to eat or keep food down, shortness of breath or a high fever, call your doctor.

Q: I’m due to have my baby later this year and concerned about additional COVID-19 waves and how it will affect my birth experience.

A: Additional waves are likely and health authorities are taking this seriously to ensure that they are adequately prepared. Protocols around labour and birth in healthcare facilities are likely to remain in place (as they currently are) and you can adequately prepare yourself. Check with your facilities regarding their rules for admission, labour and delivery and the rules around birth partners. Once your plans are in place, try to relax and enjoy your last few months of pregnancy.
Most private hospital follow the recommendations below but remember to check with your doctor and your facility to make sure, as regulations and protocols may be adjusted to accommodate changing circumstances.

• For a planned C-section, you’ll need a COVID-19 test prior to admission (at least 72 hours).
• For natural birth, you’ll be sent for a test from 38 weeks and advised to self-isolate at home at least seven days before your due date.
• If you do go into labour without having had a COVID-19 test, one will be done as soon as you are admitted.
• If your status isn’t known at the time of labour and delivery, the hospital staff will take extra precautions for safety.
• If you have COVID-19 at the time of delivery, you won’t be forced to have a C-section (caesarean). Induction (for normal birth) is also a personal choice.

Q: We’ve been told our baby has a birth defect. How can we prepare?

A: Acknowledge the difficult emotions you and your partner are feeling. Give yourself (and each other) time to come to terms with the news. When you feel ready, get the right information about your baby’s condition, prognosis and what medical interventions are possible. Your doctor is best placed to provide you with the right information. Endless hours spent online probably won’t give you the answers you seek and can leave you feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Not all information on the internet is verified and reputable and it can be difficult to tell what is or isn’t. Check with your doctor if you will be able to hold your baby directly after the birth or if he or she will need immediate medical care. Approach your baby’s birth and labour as you would any baby. Your baby may have a medical condition but he or she is still a wanted part of your family and this new life should be celebrated.

Q: I had an emergency C-section. I’m devastated as I really wanted a normal birth. How can I come to terms with this?

A: Many moms experience a myriad of difficult emotions at the unexpected turn of events and this is completely normal when a birth plan doesn’t go as you envisioned. You may find that you keep rehashing the situation over and over to find a place where things may have gone ‘wrong’. This is unhelpful and often a definitive answer isn’t found. If you have questions, speak to your doctor for reassurance. View your C-section as a medical intervention that has safely delivered your precious baby and that you are privileged to live in a society where this is possible.

If you are struggling with unexpected events in any sphere of your life – financial difficulties, parenting, or your own health or your baby’s, contact your healthcare provider for support, advice, and or counselling.

Resources: https://www.who.int/; https://www.psychologytoday.com/; https://www.unicef.org/; https://www.lifehealthcare.co.za/; https://www.whattoexpect.com/; https://www.cdc.gov/; https://www.rcog.org.uk/; https://kidshealth.org/; https://www.seleni.org/; https://www.mayoclinic.org/; https://www.thesource.org/; https://www.parents.com