Intimacy During Pregnancy

It’s a healthy part of your sexuality and safe for most expectant moms

Connecting on a sexual level in pregnancy can be a story of contrasts for an expectant woman and her intimate partner. On the one hand, your partner may find your changing body an irresistible turn-on, while on the other, you may be feeling too sick or tired to even think about sex. As your pregnancy progresses, the tables may turn, and suddenly you’re keen on a sexy rendezvous, while your partner may be worried about the baby’s safety.

Baby, Let’s Talk

Take the initiative to discuss your feelings about sex and intimacy with your partner. He or she may have concerns but may not feel comfortable starting the conversation. Talking about how you both feel can avoid misunderstandings or resentment. Some expectant moms also worry about their changing bodies and don’t feel as attractive to their partners as before. Discussing this with your partner can help you make sense of the changes and bring reassurance.

Sex in pregnancy is a personal decision and it’s okay if you choose not to. Let your partner know your reasons and work together to find other ways of being intimate together. Kissing, cuddling and massage are wonderful ways to express your love and commitment to each other.

The Full Monty

If you’re in the mood and want to have sex, there are some good reasons to go ahead. It’s a great way to connect with your partner and cement your bond as a couple before starting a new journey as parents. For some women, sex feels different in pregnancy. Hormones and increased blood flow can heighten sensitivity. Your breasts and vaginal area may be more easily aroused during pregnancy, making sex more erotic and pleasurable.

Safety first

Sex is safe in a normal pregnancy.

• If your partner has concerns about this, reassure him or her that the baby is protected inside the uterus in the amniotic sac, a thin sac that holds amniotic fluid around the baby. During sex, the penis does not get past the cervix at the top of the vagina. The uterus, where the baby grows, lies beyond the cervix which is tightly closed in pregnancy.
• An orgasm can set off Braxton Hicks contractions – practice contractions that cause you to feel a tightening across your bump. Contractions after sex are considered normal and if you change your position or move around, they should fade away. They are usually mild and generally don’t lead to preterm labour.
• Changes in the
• cervix can cause light spotting after intercourse. If the flow becomes heavier or you have other symptoms like pain or contractions that follow a pattern, let your healthcare provider know.
• Using sex toys and masturbation is also safe in a normal pregnancy. Clean equipment before and after use to prevent infection.
• You can have sex at any time during pregnancy – until your membranes rupture (waters break). Having sex after this can cause infection, when bacteria can get through the cervix and into the uterus.

Should we use a condom for sex in pregnancy? Healthcare providers advocate condom usage. Contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI), including HIV, in pregnancy can lead to a number of health complications for you and your developing baby. Using a condom can decrease the risk. If you are not in a monogamous relationship or you start a new sexual relationship during your pregnancy, use a condom during sex. If you and/or your partner don’t know your HIV status, get tested.

Feel the mood

You may not be feeling your best and common pregnancy complaints aren’t a great recipe for romance. However, a small mind shift and a nudge, like a candlelight dinner or taking a bubble bath together, can get romance started. Think sexy thoughts to put yourself in the mood.

• Once the pregnancy is confirmed, many women feel liberated and enjoy sex without the pressure, especially if you have been trying to prevent pregnancy or struggling to conceive.
• Morning sickness, breast tenderness, fatigue and a lower libido in the first trimester can be a turn off. Rekindle the passion in the second trimester when many moms experience a heightened libido.
• As your bump grows, experiment to find a position that is comfortable for you. Use pillows for extra cushioning.
• Vaginal dryness is a common complaint. A safe lubricant (lube) can make sex more comfortable. Water-soluble lubes are safest. Ask your healthcare provider for advice.

Can sex start labour? It’s a question asked both for safety concerns or as a way to get labour started as the due date approaches. Semen contains prostaglandins (lipids/fats) that produce a hormone-like effect and they can have an effect on the cervix. Oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ that plays a role in labour, is released during an orgasm. Healthcare providers agree that if your body is ready for labour, a combination of these factors may boost a process which has already started. In a normal pregnancy, it’s unlikely to have much effect if your body (or the baby) isn’t yet ready.

When not to have sex

If yours is a high-risk pregnancy, or you have specific pregnancy complaints, your healthcare provider may ask you to abstain from sex. It is important to clarify if this means penetration of the vagina or sexual activity of any kind, including masturbation and/or sex toys.

Your healthcare provider may ask you to abstain if any of the following risks pertain to you:

• You have a history of miscarriage
• You have a history of preterm labour
• You have a history of cervical insufficiency (it opens/dilates too early in pregnancy)
• You have unexplained vaginal spotting (bleeding)
• You were recently diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and you are on treatment or haven’t yet started treatment
• Your partner has a STI
• You have been diagnosed with placenta previa, a complication where your placenta covers or partially covers the cervix
• You are pregnant with multiples
• You have been put on bed rest

If you have concerns or questions about the safety of sex during your pregnancy, or you have concerns about symptoms you experience, or you are worried about an emotional change to sex, speak to your healthcare provider or your midwife.

Resources:  https://intermountainhealthcare.org/; https://www.webmd.com/;  https://www.parents.com/; https://www.marchofdimes.org/; https://www.mayoclinic.org/; https://www.healthline.com/https://www.childbirthgraphics.com/;; https://www.parents.com/; https://www.babycenter.com/; https://www.babycentre.co.uk/