Loving Your Postnatal Body

Embrace a positive narrative as you nurture and appreciate your post-baby self

Your body undergoes profound changes during pregnancy. While these changes are obviously noticeable, they are gradual. During labour and birth, your body goes through a major change in a much shorter space of time. A process that took 40 weeks, ends quite suddenly in a day or two – and the impact on your body may not be what you are expecting. If this is your first pregnancy, you may be surprised, even shocked, that your body doesn’t look quite the same as it did before you conceived.

The Fourth Trimester

The postnatal period, called the fourth trimester, is a period of growth, change and healing for mom and baby. In this period, you will help your baby adapt to life outside the womb and get to know and bond with them. For mom, the fourth trimester is a period of physical  healing and emotional change, as your body adapts to not being pregnant and you grow into your new role.

Some moms easily accept their body changes, but for others, acceptance takes time. It’s okay not to feel comfortable in your postnatal skin, but to help yourself reach a place of acceptance, you need to keep perspective. Just as a flexible birth plan calls for self-kindness and flexibility, embracing your postnatal body requires a similar attitude.

Images of celebrity moms looking perfect in skinny jeans just several weeks after baby’s birth, can lead to moms making comparisons with their own bodies. If it’s true (thanks to a team of personal trainers and chefs) or not true (thanks to a great photo editor) – it creates a perception that women need to look a certain way after giving birth. If we don’t reach that ‘goal’, we may feel disappointment, guilt or shame. The truth is that there are no gold standards as to how moms should look after giving birth. Post-baby bodies are all different, but how you see yours – from a negative or positive viewpoint – can help you accept the changes that may be permanent.

14 Ways to Love and Accept Your Postnatal Body

1. Switch your focus. Consider the strength and courage you have shown at growing and bringing a precious new life into the world. This is an amazing achievement.
2. Give it time. Your body has undergone some pretty dramatic changes. Be patient and give it time to heal and recover.
3. Be kind to yourself. Rather than notice ‘imperfections’ when you look in the mirror, notice the profound ways your body adapted to accommodate your growing baby. If your thoughts turn negative, stop a moment and ask yourself: would I say this to a friend? If not, practice self-love and don’t say it to yourself.
4. Make peace with where you at. You may not feel sexy right now, but that’s okay for the season you are in. You will feel gorgeous again.
5. Focus on healing rather than ‘getting your body back’. Now isn’t the time to diet, especially if you are breastfeeding your baby. Focus on healthy food choices to give your body all the nutrients it needs. Purchase healthy snacks to keep on hand for between meals and while breastfeeding your baby, like yogurt, nuts, dried fruit and rice cakes. If you are breastfeeding, increase your fluid intake – juice, water or herbal teas are healthy choices. Stay on your prenatal multivitamin supplement while you are breastfeeding or for about six months after the birth. This will help to replenish nutrient stores that may be depleted.
6. Reframe your narrative. Rather than focus on the pregnancy changes you don’t like, reframe them as something positive. For example, rather than see your breasts as huge and leaky, see them as your baby’s personal chefs, or your C-section scar as your baby’s door to the world.
7. Get some exercise. Once your healthcare provider clears you to exercise, put baby in a stroller and take a walk around your neighbourhood or at the mall. Getting fresh air and some exercise can lift your mood and help you see things from a different perspective.
8. Disconnect a while. If social media leads to negative thought patterns, reduce your usage or cut back completely for a few weeks.
9. Talk to your partner. Let your partner know how you feel and how they can help by loving and supporting you. You may not be able to have sex yet, or even feel like it, but a cuddle and a massage can bring comfort and connection.
10. Wear what’s comfortable. Some moms are able to fit into their pre-pregnancy jeans relatively quickly, others can’t and that’s okay. Wear clothes you feel comfortable in, even if this is maternity wear. You’ll get back into your old clothes in time.
11. Get a ‘pick me up’. Taking time for yourself is important for new moms, to help you cope physically and emotionally. Go have your nails done or visit the salon for a haircut while someone you trust watches the baby.
12. Start a gratitude journal. Write down all the things you are grateful for about your pregnancy, your baby and yourself. Start simple: I am grateful for my healthy baby. Use your experiences in the first months of motherhood to build on this.
13. Connect with new moms or your midwife. Sharing stories with someone who is going through the same situations as you, can bring comfort. Sign up for a mother and baby class or connect with new moms online.
14. Let it go. Accept that while your body may not look the same, your heart will never be the same either. To quote author Elizabeth Stone: “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

If you struggle to accept the changes, or feel depressed or anxious about your body, reach out to your healthcare provider or midwife for support.

Resources:  https://www.tommys.org/; https://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/; https://www.shemd.org/; https://www.parents.com/; https://www.thebump.com/; https://www.mom365.com/; https://www.healthline.com/