Can Men Experience Postnatal Depression?

Yes – your male partner can struggle with mental health issues after your baby’s birth

A number of men grow up with the belief that ‘men need to be strong’, so talking about paternal postnatal depression may not be something your male partner is comfortable with. Having a baby is a life-changing experience for a couple and it often comes with a mixed bag of emotions. You’re thrilled to be parents and love your new baby – but you may also feel overwhelmed, tired and worried that you won’t be a good parent.

Postnatal depression (PND) is often associated with new moms and linked to hormonal changes after the birth and the demands of taking care of a new baby. However, as a new mom you may be surprised to learn that PND isn’t something only mothers experience. Healthcare providers believe that one in 10 dads struggle with paternal PND. While PND in new mothers can occur any time during the baby’s first year, men are more likely to experience it when the baby is between three and six months old. Younger dads, particularly those in their 20s, are at an increased risk. Some men struggle with depression that starts during their partner’s pregnancy.

Causes of PND in Men

Researchers say that paternal PND can also be biological as they can experience changes in their hormone levels after the baby’s birth. This includes a drop in testosterone, and a rise in oestrogen, cortisol (a stress hormone) and prolactin, the same hormone that helps moms produce milk but also plays a role in male reproductive health. More research needs to be done to understand why and how this occurs.

Non-biological reasons for paternal PND can include the following:

• The changing family dynamic brings new responsibilities, added financial pressure and concerns about the future. Some men feel overwhelmed by the expectations.
• A history of anxiety and/or depression or other mental health issues.
• A change in your relationship, including a shift in your attention to the baby. For some men, less sex is concerning.
• Struggling to bond with the baby – for some dads, the process can take time. This can cause additional stress.
• Fatigue – a new baby is demanding on both parents and can be even more taxing if the baby has sleeping problems and/or cries a lot.
• A partner with PND.

Signs and Symptoms

A number of the signs and symptoms of PND are common when you are caring for a new baby and may even be expected, like feeling tired or worried about the baby. For this reason, PND in both women and men may go undiagnosed. Every new parent experiences ups and downs as they get to know the baby and learn their new roles.

How do you know if your partner could have PND? Consider these signs and symptoms – if you identify three or more on this list, your partner may be struggling with paternal PND.

• He seems sad or depressed (more often than not)
• He seems to worry about you and the baby (or tells you he does)
• He may seem disinterested in the baby or unwilling to interact with him/her
• He gets easily irritated and/or show signs of aggression
• He isn’t eating much or is eating more than usual
• He complains about headaches or other body pain (muscles, toothache, stomach pain etc.)
• He isn’t interested in sex
• He is constantly tired and/or struggling with insomnia (even when the baby sleeps or you care for the baby at night)
• He avoids social situations; withdraws from the family and/or extends work hours
• He loses interest in the things he once enjoyed (sports, hobbies etc.)
• You notice that he is overusing or abusing over-the-counter (OTC) or prescription medication, or abusing alcohol or street drugs

In some cases, but not all, where one partner has PND, the other partner also has symptoms. If you think your partner may be struggling with PND, consider your own symptoms. If signs and symptoms (for either of you) last longer than two weeks, consult your healthcare provider.

How to Help Your Partner

 Talk to him

Take the initiative to start the conversation with your man. It may not be an easy subject to raise, but it’s in everyone’s best interest. Use a neutral tone of voice and start the conversation with ‘I’. Use examples of various situations that you have noted: ‘I have noticed that you aren’t sleeping well or eating well’ or ‘I am concerned about your health’. Encourage him to open up about how he feels and let him know that you are there to support him.

 Suggest self-care

Ask how you can help. Remind him that eating a balanced diet, getting exercise and adequate sleep and taking some personal time are important when you’re coping with additional stress. Your partner may feel guilty about taking time for himself – encourage him to do this if he needs to. If you haven’t taken a break together in a while, suggest a night off where you get someone to watch the baby and go to a movie or have dinner together.

Ask him to talk to someone

Ask your partner to see your GP or a counsellor. Talking to a healthcare provider can be the first steps to feeling better. You can suggest he goes on his own, or be willing to accompany him, if he would like that.

Treatment options for men are currently the same as for moms struggling with PND. The healthcare provider may prescribe medication or suggest counselling, or a combination of both. Generally, people  start to feel better within six weeks of starting treatment.

If you think that your partner may be struggling with PND, take a moment to share this article with them. Getting help isn’t a sign of weakness but rather of strength and with treatment, he will continue to be a loving, supportive partner and a great father.

Contact your midwife or healthcare provider for support, advice and counselling.

Resources:  https://www.tommys.org/; https://www.parents.com/; https://www.healthline.com/; https://www.babycentre.co.uk/; https://www.healthpartners.com/; https://health.clevelandclinic.org/; https://www.psycom.net/; https://postpartum.org/; https://www.healthychildren.org/