Why New Moms Feel Pressured To Lose The Baby Weight

Postnatal weight loss is a process that shouldn’t be rushed

For many women, the struggle and focus to lose ‘the baby weight’ can lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety and even depression. Many women feel pressured to get into shape right after giving birth and worry that by not doing so, they’re not ‘measuring up’.

Weight gain is an important part of a healthy pregnancy. Moms who don’t gain enough weight are at risk for having a baby with a low birth weight and possible complications after the birth. However, healthcare providers also caution moms about gaining too much weight, as this can also influence baby’s birth weight. A bigger-than-average baby increases the risk for possible complications during the birth, including the need for a C-section.

Feeling Like a Failure

The average weight gain is between 11 to 16kg, comprising of the uterus, amniotic fluid, increased blood volume, enlarged uterus and your baby’s weight. However, this is a guideline – and it depends on how much you weigh when you start your pregnancy, as well as personal factors like your height and body structure.

Most moms will lose between four and six kilograms directly after the birth, and a few more over the next few weeks. After this, healthcare providers advise moms to take postnatal weight loss slowly. Not only are you bonding with and caring for your baby right now, your body – after a ten-month process – needs time to heal. So, why do so many of us feel pressurised to lose the weight as quickly as possible and ‘get our bodies back’?

Here are a few possible reasons:

• We’re bombarded on social media about what beauty is and means.
• We compare ourselves to celebrities who’ve just given birth and look ‘fantastic’.
• We compare ourselves to friends and family.
• We worry that we are not desirable to our partners right now.

The images and ‘standards’ we see around us and on social media or are even told by others, creates a situation where we put undue pressure on ourselves. We see images of celebrity moms just days after baby’s birth – and we beat ourselves up. Somehow, not being able to fit into our jeans right after baby’s birth means that we have failed in some way!

Talking Facts

Photographs and posts on social media, don’t necessarily tell the whole story. Celebrity moms and other A-listers have access to personal trainers, beauticians and chefs to assist with meal preparations, exercise and beauty regimes, and nannies to take care of the baby. For most of us, this isn’t realistic and it’s unfair on ourselves to make these comparisons. We may even compare ourselves to family members and friends within our close circle, forgetting that we are all unique. Some women carry smaller than others, some babies are bigger than others and our bodies deal with the changes of pregnancy differently. How your body will recover after your pregnancy and baby’s birth is also an individual one. Some moms need more time than others, and that’s okay!

Change Your Focus

It’s definitely in your best health interest to lose the baby weight, especially if you are planning a future pregnancy, but it’s all about how you approach postnatal weight loss – and being extra kind to your post-pregnancy self.

Rather than focus on numbers on the scale, aim for changes that will benefit your health in the long run, like you did during your pregnancy. Healthcare providers say that it takes about six months to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight for most moms, but even up to 12 months for others. There is no prescribed timeline, and these are estimates.

It’s also important to remember that your body goes through some amazing changes in pregnancy and ‘things’ do shift. You may even reach your usual weight but not look exactly as you did before. Many moms have a softer tummy, sport stretch marks or wider hips, or even change their shoe size! These changes are part of your pregnancy journey and motherhood and should be celebrated with pride.

So, what can you do to change your focus?

1. Stay off social media for a while. Use this time to bond and connect with your baby.
2. Make healthy decisions every day, especially if you are breastfeeding. Skip the fad diets or promises of quick fixes when it comes to weight loss – they aren’t healthy and they aren’t what your body needs right now.
3. Give yourself time – set a goal for six to eight months to lose additional weight. If you aren’t sure if this is realistic for you, speak to your healthcare provider.
4. Have a frank conversation with your partner. You may not be feeling your sexy best right now, and that’s okay. Explain your feelings and ask for their support and understanding.

Rather than focus on society’s definition of a beautiful body, celebrate the remarkable job yours has done in bringing your baby into the world. All bodies, regardless of shape and size are beautiful. To quote Lady Gaga:

You define beauty yourself; society doesn’t define your beauty.

Contact your midwife or healthcare provider for advice and counselling.

Resources: https://www.mayoclinic.org/; https://www.whattoexpect.com/; https://familydoctor.org/; https://www.healthline.com/